Choose your suffering

Flying off in the middle of a pandemic feels somewhat like starring in an apocalypse movie. All about you is quiet and still yet there's a bunch of humans making their way through the Zombieland of closed shops and empty hallways.

When I was on the verge of leaving, even before leaving the house, I somehow felt like I'm missing my loved ones already. Yet at the same time the body refuses to be caged by feels. My heart is a brooding handmaiden already but still I wanna go. How do you square this circle?

I am awesome.