Day 3

I found out today via my eldest cousin that grandma was also admitted to the hospital 2 days ago. It’s strange how by which point I almost feel rather numb to these news. Every life has an expectancy. So truly, what else can be more important in life than to love as much as we can, while we can? It seems like both mum and I have adapted to the news fairly quickly. I could…

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Stealing time (day 2)

Today I was trying to figure out do I approach time as a countdown or consider every day a day earned? If I approach it as a countdown, do I countdown to 5 years? 3? 1? I suppose it really depends on the context. For me personally, perhaps this 364 days for me to freeze my eggs. Another 364+365+365=1,094 maybe to adopt a child. So my mom feels assured. For her, it’s hard to say….

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Living With Cancer

My first memory of death was when a young me asked my mom to go visit with a relative. To which I think she said something along the lines of she went on holiday or somewhere faraway or whatever, I could not remember exactly. I was in school when I received the new of my dad’s death. I was at home when the doctor called with the results of my mom’s fMRI. I hadn’t dare…

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Of Class Struggle, Crazy Rich Asians, Left-Behind Children and Didi Murders

“The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.” To which it could perhaps be added, “The oppressed becomes the oppressor in a never ending reincarnation.” This is one of the key points that I took away from Sapiens. The fatalistic, conservative-leaning side of my psyche would look at the sum of my experiences and (limited) knowledge of the world to arrive at the conclusion that maybe the war never was to change the…

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where the sun rises

Having grown past the age in which I’d Google how hot the people are in cities before visiting, I was very pleasantly surprised at how good-looking 80% of the Japanese I’ve seen are. A hushed silence fell over the plane and passengers as I flew in from Hong Kong. Even in the dim lights of the night, Japanese faces seem to shine ever so bright. The tips of their mascara beckoning class and finesse. I cannot put a…

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2018年还没出走半生

2017年末,我觉得我应该坦然地破碎与重塑自己,而不是一味地以封闭情绪隔离。可过去总像个陌生的国度,即算重访,也茫然那些空间与方向的坐标。我不知道,街坊与巷口邂逅于哪个转角。就好像人不能两次踏进同一条河流一样,我一直都是我,只是随着时间的推进演变有了好多的、陌生的、未知的、可能的、尚未存在的我。那么人应当如何面对稀松平常的、人尽可享的曾经?爱上层楼,一直想流浪到海天一色的尽头却认错了港口。我搁浅于青春的岸。

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就像是匕首生出了玫瑰

就像是匕首生出了玫瑰,雪地盛开了花卉,你是我和世界之间的一条河流。给我一颗海洋的心,把所有的眷恋倾注你眼里的黑。卷珠帘,为你钓叟归路时节枝头摇曳的梅。我只愿,不事文章独画眉。 雨把灯烧,风为烛浇,不若仗剑戎马,任你缱绻,缠绵成湖边的垂柳依偎。

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双城记之 从每个人的全世界路过 而你是我停留的理由

有时候,我觉得白昼是夜的,否则怎么会,昏暗地像是所有的霓虹都在沉睡。 有时候,我觉得想你是乐的,否则怎么会,沉醉地仿佛隐形的神经都已苏醒。 苏州城外寒山寺;而我在自己的心里筑起了一座庙宇,以孤寂为钥匙,回忆混为水泥,一个人过着日常的空城计。执笔溅墨,宛若门外徘徊的心事婉约破碎。你不在这里。 西出阳关无故人;乐见佛光笼罩,莫使金樽独照。如是飞天,我化缘了一杯思念饮尽月牙泉,把海市蜃楼凿成了你的眉眼。你不在这里。

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生命是拿来浪费的

穷得兜里连一张纸巾的现金都凑不足有时; 混的时候望见漂亮总不能浅尝辄止有时; 荡的地图还不会看就搭车翻山有时; 傻的想做什么,就做了。看似别无选择的选择不也是一种众多选择中的一种,自我矛盾的效益分析总是不敌一霎那、刀尖、划过眉角的热意。

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文学的喜悦 The Joy of Literature

最近因为个台湾学生的缘故,姐再次捧起了《边城》、《永远的伊雪艳》、《生命中不能承受之轻》与诗集。 念到“自行车的铃声悬浮在空间”/“铃声把破碎的花香抛在悸动的长街”这一类的句子,不由得有一种很美的很愉悦的感觉。 暖暖的十四行,在最后的戈壁书写唯一的抒情,那些悲伤的、快乐的、兴奋的、绝望的一切。于是一切成烟。于是人一无所有了,于是人便成了宇宙。

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